Why Feeling Good Backfires

My job as a coach isn't to agree with you, validate you or reassure you. I am not your pal. If you feel stuck in your life and want something to go differently for yourself, prepare to be challenged.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. I'd venture to say that many people are living in insanity.

If you're truly not in a place to let old ways of being go, coaching won't work. You won't see progress. Life will carry on the way it has been. Now, as a coach I'm not dismissive of anyone's views or beliefs. I get curious about them...I just don't think the ones that are holding you back are true.

Anyway, if you want to experience areas of your life in new ways, it would be doing you a disservice if I didn't question your perspectives and called you out on your blind spots. Just sayin'. So many clients want to "feel good" at the end of every call and sometimes that's what they need. Sometimes, they need to be left blowing their nose into a tissue (something I have done many a time working with my coach).

Life isn't actually about feeling good all the time. I can't count how many times I've said this but when I allow myself to feel the full spectrum of feelings, I feel more alive. Sure, it sucks to feel anger and sadness and frustration but it also just makes you human. It's almost cathartic for me to cry my eyes out and then go out in the world with those emotions having been acknowledged instead of me carrying them around and managing on top of them.

Do you ever hate on those people that ask you how you're doing, hear your "I'm good!" and don't buy it? Me too. But they're subsequently the best people because they see past the bullshit and actually care enough to hear your real honest answer which, again, may come with a lot of tears and tissues. And there is nothing wrong with that. Feel the feels without judgment and know that you won't get stuck there unless you let yourself.