Perfection is Bullshit

There’s a lot of pressure today to be perfect. You have to have everything nailed down: the stable full time job, the exciting social life, the relationship everyone else looks to have. You’ve got to be positive. You can’t be the Debbie downer. You’ve got to be a Yes man. Smile more, laugh more, be upbeat. Look, it’s beautiful to want to aim for any of those things. But what happens when you can’t honestly check off all the boxes?

As I’m going through my own transformational work, I’ve been irrationally ashamed of that fact. Why would I be ashamed of the fact that I am bettering myself?

I feel ashamed because I think I’m putting a damper on the party. I don’t want to have to subject the people around me to the rollercoaster that is my life presently. It’s like I only allow myself so much support and when I reach a certain point, I decide to cut myself off because if I don’t I’ll annoy people. I’ll be the one that complains and whines and mopes around. I’ll be the one that’s too serious. All of these thoughts are a product of self-hate and a lack of compassion towards myself. It’s that pesky little red dude on my shoulder trying to keep me small and comfortable. I say comfortable because I assert that self-hate is the common route we go down.

Self-love is a rebellious act.

The point of this is to say that I have spent a lot of time working on myself by my lonesome. My next breakthrough is to continue to let people in. To connect and be in community with others. I will rebel against perfection, sweeping the mess under the rug so people think you’re put together, grinding for results that provide only fleeting happiness. I declare that I will be vulnerable and keep my heart and my tear ducts open. I declare that I will live in alignment with who I am at my best. I am not my past. I will practice compassion and love of myself first; I can’t expect to fully give that to others if I can’t give it to myself. I’m not going to feel bad for not being okay all the time. I am going to acknowledge my own humanity. That’s it, that’s what it comes down to.

Please be gentle with yourself. Accept where you are at and who you are. “There is nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to be.”

You are whole and complete as you are.