"I Don't Know"

In my experience as a Coach and a Coachee, “I don’t know” is a common response to powerful questions. Questions like “What’s in the way of achieving what you want?” “Who do you want to be in response to this situation?” “What would bringing ___ give you in this case?”The answer time and again is I don’t know.

I’m guilty of it too, don’t worry. I get why we turn to it so often. It’s a simple way to avoid confronting something. When you really think about it, you know the answer to the question. Sometimes dealing with the answer is the daunting part.

Ignorance is bliss but at what cost? A life unexamined.

Whenever I respond with I don’t know, I experience this sinking feeling in my stomach. My answer usually isn’t the “right” one. It’s not pretty. It doesn’t make my life look like those perfectly wrapped gifts you feel bad opening. These sorts of questions initially stump me because I’ve been used to answering to teachers, professors and parents. The people who have certain answers in mind; they don’t dig into who are you behind all of the pretty packaging.

Coaching questions rip that pretty packaging off with the intention of freeing the awesome stuff that’s inside of it, as cheesy as that sounds. Because who actually cares about the packaging at the end of the day? I want to interact with what’s inside of it. That’s the real joy of it all.

This could be dramatic to some but I refuse to look back on my life and wish that it had gone differently. I declare that on my death bed I will be delighted by the life I’ve lived.

I will refuse to settle for “I don’t know”. I hope you do the same.

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