Life Update: I've been doing it "wrong"
- Angela Cangialosi
- Nov 1, 2017
- 2 min read
I quit my full-time job last week. Part of it is super freeing and then there’s part of it that’s super scary. I’ll keep you posted on how this turns out.
I’ve also been doing a lot of things that I really don’t find fun. Mostly because they've worked for other people. I’ve signed up for networking events, scripted my Youtube videos, downloaded Bumblebizz, joined coach networking groups, the whole shebang. And if I’m being completely transparent, I have been ready to rip my luscious locks out.
Now, I love life coaching. I do it with my pro bono clients, with my teammates and I get coached by my own coach. I love every part of it but jeez, I’ve been putting so much pressure on myself to make life coaching a full time career and be this online life coach guru expert. You know what, I know I haven’t been 100 percent authentic. That my interactions with people aren’t me coming from my Essence. It’s all been about my Survival mechanism that’s scared to death that I made a terrible decision to be a coach, that I’ll never get clients, that I’m not qualified enough to do it, that I don’t know a thing about the business, that I’ll end up in a financial crisis constantly, etc. It just makes my interactions stiff. It makes the way I market myself cookie cutter and uncreative. It makes everything impersonal.
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Something I came to realize while on a call with my coach was that in my mind, creativity and business are on opposite ends of a spectrum and they can’t coexist because business kills creativity and how could my creative content ever lead to sales. Why am I making Youtube videos when the platform is already so over-saturated? Why would anyone want to watch my videos? Why would anyone like my personality, my tone of voice, my mannerisms, or my interests enough to want to hire me, much less watch me on a weekly basis?
This REEKS of Survival mechanism. It’s grossly negative, self-defeating, self critical, lonely, aggravating, and an act.
It’s funny that I realized this because the people that I want to work with all seem to have this same mentality. People who are creative don’t think they can make money doing what they love, millennials feels stuck doing the whole 9-5 thing, and LGBTQ folks..sometimes they might as well be professional actors. It’s all upsetting.
But it’s cool to come to these conclusions so that I can actually be someone for these groups of people. Because I know the experience, I know what it feels like, and I know that the feelings are merely feelings.
Creatives produce amazing content, millennials don’t need to settle for the 9-5 and LGBTQ folks certainly do not have to hide who they are to keep other people happy.
I guess I’m just on the journey of coming out of my own hiding, not to be dramatic or anything. This post is the start, it’s pretty darn transparent and authentic to who I am. And I hope it helps even one person realize that they don’t have to put on the act anymore either.
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